Tuesday, March 27, 2012

The Whitey Bulger of 7-11..

I was talking with my cousin Sally in Kansas today, and she told me this.."Remember? When we were young, cruising the back roads of Kansas..Not a care in the world..I miss those days, and I can tell that you miss those days as well." Every once in a while cousin Sally will show her soft side..Before I go much farther, I need to clarify a few things about cousin Sally. First of all, she's not really my cousin, not blood anyways..Second, she's a girl from my home town in Kansas..The best way to describe cousin Sally? "Back in the day? She would have given any one of these girls in Las Vegas a run for their money. She was Playboy material..Now, she never bothered paying that much attention to me..We were always friends..Sally was way out of my league..I harp on Vegas girls all the time, but if their was ever a Las Vegas girl in Kansas, it would be cousin Sally..Back in the day, anyways."

What's the best way to describe 7-11? To me? Diversity is the word that comes to my mind..Throw in the fact that Las Vegas is a diverse town..Well, you catch my drift..Anyways, a regular at 7-11 is my friend Mickey. This is one interesting character, he was born and bred in South Boston, a Southie is how he describes himself. He moved to Las Vegas years ago, and was a professional bartender for many years. He's sinced retired, and nowadays? He spends most of his days gambling or thinking about gambling. The thing I like about Mickey the most? From the sounds of it, he's lived one helluva life.

"Uncle Whitey!" Every time I see Mickey come into 7-11, that's my standard greeting for him. Mickey grew up in South Boston during the Whitey Bulger era (For those of you not familiar with Whitey Bulger? Watch The Departed, the character Jack Nicholson portrays, is based on Whitey Bulger)..Well, whenever he comes in, we spend a few minutes chatting about politics, women, whatever the topic of the day is? Today? We spent a little time talking about our home town. I told him this about mine.."Small town Kansas, good place to raise a family, conservative, all the things you would expect in Kansas? My home town has. Tell me more about Whitey Bulger." His home town is a lot more interesting than mine, and like most everyone else in America. I love hearing stories about the mob. He then told me this:

"My grandmother, god bless her soul, babysitted Whitey Bulger and his brothers when they were youngsters. Even back then, they were a rambunctious group is what she told me. She lived in the same house in South Boston for 57 years. As she got older, Whitey and his crew would always check in on her. Let's put it this way. If anyone in South Boston back then, gave my grandparents any grief..They would have to deal with Uncle Whitey..No doubt he's a criminal, but during his time in South Boston, he took good care of my grandparents. No matter what the media or movies say, South Boston was a great place to live, as long as Uncle Whitey wasn't mad at you."

After Mickey leaves, I start thinking to myself AGAIN.."7-11 sure is an interesting and diverse place. If you want to be a writer/blogger? You had better have something interesting to share with your readers. No problem with that at 7-11."

Saturday, March 24, 2012

The Olivia Newton-John of 7-11..

One of my favorite movie's of all-time? Grease..John Travolta, Olivia Newton-John, the soundtrack, Grease Lightning..When I was a teen my first car was nicknamed...Grease Lightning:) Anyways, their is a girl who comes into 7-11 that is a dead ringer for Olivia Newton-John, and to top it all off, her name is Sandra..Oh, one more thing, she's originally from Austria. I know Olivia Newton-John is from Australia, not Austria. But to me? It's all the same. I've gotten to know her a little, so the other day when she came through the store? I had to let her know for the 20th time, that she was a dead-ringer for Olivia Newton-John. Well, she makes her way through the line, we exchange pleasantries, and I tell her this:

"You know, I watched Grease again, for the 100th time, did I ever tell you that you could have been a stunt double for Olivia Newton John?" I've hit on this girl about a 100x, and been rebuffed every single one. It's my persistence that keeps me going. So, I figured it was worth another shot. Again, you never know if you don't ask...Even Multiple times.."You know what? One of these days we should rent Grease, and a couple other Travolta/Newton-John movies, make a marathon out of it. What do ya say?" After I made the suggestion? Let's put it this way..I was about 98.5% sure that she was going to say no, but theirs always that 1.5%..Anyways, she looks at me and says:

"Every time I come in here, you tell me that I look like Olivia Newton-John..Thank-you, the comparison is very flattering..And your so persistent. How many times have I told you no? And you still keep asking." For a minute, I was starting to believe that I had worn her down. Maybe she would finally agree to go out with me? To my chagrin:( she added this to her conversation.."I'm busy, really busy. Your a very handsome and polite man, but your not the one for me..Can I have my change now?"

After she left, I started thinking about something a friend of mine in Vegas told me. "Dude you've got to get a fucking grip on how things work in this town. Your wanting a 10 girlfriend:), without a fucking dime to your name. You need to go back to the farm! Jethro.."

Friday, March 23, 2012

The Dr. Phil of 7-11..Part 4

"The great thing about 7-11? You see it all..From the bum on the street, to the hottest girl in town. At one time or another? They all come into 7-11.."

-Robert Joseph Astle


"Now, you write this really nice post about Las Vegas, and you mention how one of your friends at 7-11 is interested in your idea about Guerrilla Marketing. The problem with you? You miss the simple things. You don't spell Meghan with an h, the correct spelling of her first name is Megan (Cousin Sally was referring to the fact I misspelled Megan Fox name in a previous post) Spell check! You know I've been thinking more and more about your new nickname..Boy Wonder..I've decided to change it..The Boy part still fits..From now on I'm going to call you Boy Blunder..Yeah Boy fucking Blunder.. That's you!" Some times I wonder why I bother with cousin Sally? Nowadays? She never has anything nice to say about me. My biggest problem? I still  think of Sally as that girl I knew when I was young. The one who could kick any ass. The reality? Cousin Sally has gone soft on me..Oh well, she's my cousin Sally, and I love her.

READING POINT: The state of Nevada is working on legislation that will legalize online gaming, for the state (state by state issue)..I'm not to much into politics, but the words I'm hearing? Legalize and Tax! I know a lot of people who read this blog could care less about this..And that's fine..On the other hand, I don't want people telling me down the road.."Why didn't you tell me so.." My best guesstimate on when this happens? After the elections.. Let me put it this way.."It's not a matter of if online gaming will be legalized in this country..It's a matter of when!"

I was talking with my friend at 7-11 the other day, he asked me this.."When you live in Kansas, doe's everything end at midnight. I heard you can't even buy alcohol in a lot of places in Kansas." Now my friend is a youngin'. He's stereotyped a lot of people from the mid west. I had to let him know that things weren't that bad in Kansas..So I told him this.."You've been watching to much Wizard of Oz. I'm going to give you a subtle difference between the two. When I visited Kansas a while back? I went into a 7-11 after midnight and tried to buy some beer. The clerk told me that he couldn't sell it to me, and that I would have to come back at noon..Kansas has a state law prohibiting the sell of alcohol in convenience stores from 12AM-12PM..Now, Las Vegas on the other hand..No such law exists..You can buy alcohol and gamble 24/7..Doe's that kind of give you an idea of how the two differ?" My friend looks at me and says.."So what do people in Kansas do for fun? It sounds like the sidewalks roll up at midnight." I thought for a few moments before I answered him.."Well, that's easy! They come to Las Vegas."

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

The Megan Fox of 7-11..Part 2

"How come you always tell me about all these beautiful women in Las Vegas, and you can never get one to go out with you? And don't tell me it's because your busted..A lot of guys I know are busted and they can still get a date." My cousin Sally isn't quite catching my drift, most of the women in Vegas are very lovely..Way out of a 7-11 guys league..For some reason or another, she can't seem to understand the quality I'm talking about. So I told her this.."Now cousin Sally, it ain't like I'm down on the farm, trying to talk one of those country girls into a good time. It don't play like that out here. Money talks, bullshit walks." I've told cousin Sally this same thing on a number of occasions, but some how it won't get through her head. Her version? I'm a male chauvinist for insinuating that all women care about is money...

In recent posts, I told everyone about my friend Roxy..Foxy Roxy..Roxy epitomizes a Las Vegas, rock-n-roll, Vince Neil loving, bad girl..This girl is bad news, and that's why I like her so much:) Anyways, she makes her way through the line, we exchange pleasantries, and she tells me this.."The answer is still no." She thought that I was going to ask her out. The truth, I've given up on Roxy, not really my type, but damn is she fine to look at..Anyways, I told her this.."Don't flatter yourself to much, I wasn't going to ask you out again..I can take a hint, but I do have to ask you something?" She looks at me with a Daisy Duke smile and says.."Mr. Blogger I like you, but I'm busy..Make it quick!" So I told her this:

"I can see you, and a number of your friends, forming an effective Guerrilla Marketing team. You've definitely got the attitude and confidence for it." Getting a girl like Roxy to pay attention to you is hard. Girls like her are used to running over guys like me, but I had to get a point across. Some how? So I added this to the conversation. "Think about this for a second, I told you about the Groupon, and the hyper local approach! Why not try an round up a bunch of people..And go Guerrilla on the area, just think of the data base that could be created, with a little effort..I know some one like you could kill this process." I didn't want to ramble on to much. I think people are understanding what I'm talking about? Anyways, she looks at me intently and says.."I know that you think I'm some Bimbo, but I've been reading your blog..I understand what your talking about! But the one thing your not picking up on? This is Las Vegas..No Money? No Honey:(..Now I don't know how they do it on the farm? But that's how it works out here!"

After she left, I started thinking to myself..AGAIN.."One of these days, I'm going to meet the one guy whose seeing things like me. If he's paying attention? He should know what I'm talking about."

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

The Mark Wahlberg fan club at 7-11..Part 4

My cousin Sally in Kansas recently told me this. "Your like a cross between the village idiot and the bum on the street, you have both of those characteristics mastered. I know that I told you when we were young, that you may hit someday? I gotta be honest with you. I wish I would have never said that to you. You should have just got a job shoveling shit back in Kansas, but since it's to late for that now. Stick with it, Maybe? One of these days the right guy will pay attention. I don't thinks so, but do what makes ya happy." Cousin Sally can be a hard pill to swallow, but every now and than she shows her soft side. "Oh one last thing before I let you go, I've got a new nickname for you..Boy Wonder..Yeah, Boy fucking Wonder. That's you." Sally began laughing hysterically over the phone, so I told her this.."A comedian is never supposed to laugh at his own jokes." Her reply? "OK..Mr. Comedian..Remember? I've seen you on stage..I don't need any advice from you, not about comedy anyways." A long time ago I wanted to be a stand-up comedian, never got very far with it. Why? Basically, no talent. After Sally hung up? I started thinking about her new nickname for me..Boy Wonder..Oh well, she's my cousin Sally, and I love her..

My favorite Mark Wahlberg fan came into the store today..Oh Lord..Well, anyways she makes her way through the line, we exchange pleasantries and she than tells me this. "Did you know Mark Wahlberg was going to join his brother Donnie in New Kids On The Block, but he ended up passing so he could form the Funky Bunch." When she told me that, I knew that she had been doing her homework. I would guess this girl was in kindergarten when New Kids On The Block was big. Of course I knew that, but I had to play dumb on this. After all, this girl looks like a fricking Victoria Secrets' model. So I told her this. "Oh come on..Your making that up. You can't even name one song New Kids on The Block sings." She than looks at me like she is sort of angry and sort of happy and says. "I thought you were Mark Wahlbergs #1 fan, everyone knows he almost became a NKOTB. I read it in his biography. DuHHH." After she was done talking I just smiled and said.."I didn't have a clue:) I tell you what, why don't we meet for a drink and discuss our favorite thespians work?" I'd already hit on her once and she said no, but I'm persistent, and again you never know if you don't ask..Even multiple times..Anyways, she looks at me and says:

"How old are you?" I told her 41. She then asked me how old I thought she was. I guess the only word I can use to describe her, since I'm old, is younger. How much younger? "I would guess..uhh..uhh your a nice young lady..uhh..uhh..I'm going to say 28." She was a lot younger than 28, but I was kind of wishing she was that.."I'm 22 years old, your cute and everything, and I like my guys a little older, but come on! Your almost as old as my dad..But if you'd like, I can introduce you to my mother. She's single." A simple no would have sufficed, but then again? I like the blatant honesty a lot of theses Vegas/California girls possess.

When she first told me that Mark Wahlberg was her favorite actor? My immediate thoughts were that she could be a candidate for the third great one..Don't look like it's gonna happen..Well, after she leaves, I start thinking to myself AGAIN..."It's a good thing persistence is your best attribute, don't sweat the small stuff..One of these days your going to meet that third great one..Maybe?"

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

The best looking tattoo a 7-11 guy has ever seen.

I chatted with my cousin Sally today. I told her that I was thinking about getting a tattoo. Neither one of us have tats, so I wanted to hear her thoughts on the subject. I asked her this. "Cousin Sally, you know that I love you. I need your opinion on something. I told you a lot of people who come into my 7-11 have tats, I've been thinking about getting one. What do you think of that?" Their was a brief moment of silence and then she answered. "You want to know what would be a good tattoo for you? I'll tell you. Why don't you get 'village idiot' stamped across your forehead. Yeah that would be a good tat for you. Then when you go places in Vegas, everyone will know who you are." My cousin Sally is quite the comedian. I know that she didn't really mean that. At least I think she didn't mean it?

The best looking tattoo I've seen in Vegas? Well, that's an easy one, it belongs to one of the best looking women in Vegas. In an earlier post, I told everyone about my friend Alexis. She has a tattoo of a rising sun on the top of her back. Every one knows the 7-11 slogan..Oh Thank Heaven for 7-11..Whenever I see a girl like Alexis walk through the door? That slogan go's through my head every time! As luck would have it, Alexis decided to bring her sultry self into 7-11. This girl..WHEW..Blond hair, blue eyes, toned, tanned..The list go's on. I've gotten to know her a little, so I figured what the hell, maybe she wants to get a drink some time. You never know if you don't ask.

She makes her way through the line, we exchange pleasantries, and I ask her this. "How are things going at your job?" She says fine. I then ask her. "One of these days, the two of us should grab a drink. Maybe go out?" A girl like Alexis is way out of 7-11 guys league, but again, you don't know for sure if you don't ask. She looks at me and says. "Your cute and everything, but I'm going to pass. I'm just to busy." I than said this. "So does that mean when your not busy, we can grab a drink?" She looks at me with her beautiful blue eyes, smiles, and says. "I'm always going to be to busy."

I'm going to close this post with something my friend told me a long time ago. "Whenever your looking for a new girlfriend, the law of averages comes into play. Most of the girls I ask out? They tell me to take a walk, but sooner or later one will say yes."

Thursday, March 8, 2012

The Dr. Phil of 7-11..Part 3

A reader of the blog, asked me this today at 7-11? "I'm following a long with you a little on the Collective Buying Power process, I'm convinced that's a humongous market, with a ton of stuff up for grabs. Most people should understand that. What you need to do? Get people interested in an organic growth strategy. Most people have no idea what your talking about when you say organic growth." After my friend left, I started thinking to myself..AGAIN.."I can sniff this process taking off, or maybe that's just me?"

I made a very conscious decision when I left Texas and came back to Las Vegas. I told myself this. "I'm going to live or die with what this town provides me. No matter what. Las Vegas is my home." If your going to thrive in an environment like Vegas, you better have a plan. Organic Growth is that plan. OG always starts from within, once you've convinced yourself? It's simple, convince other people that your idea would be beneficial for them. If it was only that simple?

Las Vegas is a town that is changing, everyone knows that! The prevailing attitude in Las Vegas? Out with the old, in with the new. Maybe I should say it like this? "Change is the one constant in life, it can be good or bad. It depends how you choose to handle it. Some people can benefit from change. Most of your successful entrepreneurs and innovators started street level. The one thing they were looking for in the very beginning? Organic growth." I'm sorry, I got on my soapbox again. My cousin Sally puts it like this.."Give it Up! Know one cares about your stupid organic growth strategies. Stick with the stories, get in front of a mirror, and practice your stand-up! You got a lot better chance being a comedian than an entrepreneur!" Oh well, she's my cousin Sally, and I love her.

I'm going to close this post with a brief excerpt of a conversation I had with one of my regulars at 7-11..He's a big fan of the blog.."Is your ex-wife really planning on coming out here and helping you get this thing going?" I answered yes. His reply? "Man that must be one helluva of an ex-wife."

.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

The Mark Wahlberg fan club at 7-11..Part 3..

"If your going to work at 7-11? You might as well have some fun?"

Robert Joseph Astle


My cousin Sally in Kansas told me this. "Why in the world do you work at 7-11? I just think you should be doing something else. Come On! How long are you going to keep things going before you move on? You told me yourself, you can't get anyone to help you with these lame ideas. I'm going to tell you AGAIN..Know one cares about your ideas! I say this with a lot of love in my heart. Give Up!" My cousin Sally and I have a love/hate relationship, so I've learned to take her advice/abuse with a grain of salt. I answered her like this. "Cousin Sally, you know that I love you? I'm going to give you some advice for a change. If you were thinking like me? You should think about how to apply some of my ideas in your area. Remember, hyper local is the phrase of the day. I have to go." Every time I talk with Sally, I try to give her a positive to counteract all the negatives she throws at me. Oh Well, she's my cousin Sally, and I love her.

Today at 7-11 was throwback day. That basically means? Wear something retro. What better shirt to wear than my Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch tour shirt. (I'm not sure what year it was, early 90's. I saw them play at Kemper Arena in Kansas City).. In essence, I was hoping my favorite Mark Wahlberg fan at 7-11 would come in, and be impressed by my sense of nostalgia. As luck would have it, she did. She makes her way through the line, we exchange pleasantries, and I tell her this. "Check out this shirt from back in the day. It's my vintage Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch World tour shirt!" She gives me a very puzzling look and says. "You still have a shirt from a concert 20 years ago, and to top it all off, your still wearing it. I was like, 4 years old, maybe? When you bought that shirt. You need to get a life, and throw that t-shirt away." I thought that she might be impressed by my sense of fashion? Turns out? I ended up creeping her out. You know what the problem with a lot of women nowadays is? No sense of history.

I'm going to end this post with something my 98 year old grandmother told me recently. "I hope that one of these days, you can turn whatever it is your trying to do, into a real job."

Saturday, March 3, 2012

The Meghan Fox of 7-11

My cousin Sally from Kansas is a wonderful girl, most of the time. Their are certain times when the two of us don't see things the same. Nevertheless, we always find a way to settle our differences and continue our relationship. We both agree! Were stuck with each other. I was talking to her the other day, and she told me this. "The stories are good, I live in Kansas, my life is fairly boring compared to what you blog about. You have to accept this as a fact! Know one cares about any of your business ideas. Not going to happen!" Now, this is the part of Sally I don't like..I told her this. "If you look at some of the concepts I've been talking and blogging about? You should have some sort of idea! The revenue projections for a number of these concepts, in the next few years? Billions!" I than told her I had to go. When I hung the phone up? I started thinking to myself..AGAIN.."I've been chatting with her for over 2 years about some of my ideas, and the only feedback I get from her? Give up! Or, she might tell me I misspelled a word in the blog." Oh well, she's my cousin Sally, and I love her.

The best Christmas present EVER, was the title of my very first blog post. In that post, I told everyone about my friend Roxy..Foxy Roxy..Well, I hadn't seen her in quite some time, and I was beginning to wonder if she had run off on me? Well, the other day she came into 7-11 and we got to play 'catch up'. She makes her way through the line, and the very first thing I notice? Her belly-button was pierced, with a diamond stud in it. Roxy has one of the best looking belly-buttons I have ever seen. Her and I have a brief history, and I hadn't seen her in a little while, so I decided to ask her if she wanted to get a drink again. In one of my earlier posts. I mention how I like the blatant honesty a lot of these Vegas/California girls possess. Well, she tells me this.."Now listen up, so I don't have to repeat myself. Their isn't going to be a second time with us. Get that through your head. Just think of me as your Christmas present that you've already used."

One thing I've learned in all my years? How to take a hint. I'm into Roxy, the problem being? And I run into this problem with a lot of the girls who come into my 7-11. They ain't into me:( After Roxy left. I started thinking to myself..AGAIN.."Don't sweat the rejection. One of these days? Your going to find that third great one. And all of your misfortunes will be forgotten."